Cyanide Garggle

25 November 2009 @ 05:11 am

more than i should than i thought i could

Mondays are about the worst day there is. I don't really know why but they just seem to always suck unless you're at home, asleep the entire day.

They gave me a shift to do Monday, I usually work from Thursday to Saturday, but there was like no one in. Jenny, whose shift I was picking up, is on holiday for like the next 10 days. It's partially my own fault for sleeping for about 4 hours when I knew I was wanted in but still.

This one guy though, he came up and was being all abrupt, cause people are usually polite and a little more human, I'm already feeling like crap so there's no ''hie'' and no smiling or whatever on my part but he's being an ass anyway. Then he hands me some extra money so he can get less change and I made a confused face (I don't do maths too good when I'm at work) and he must've taken it for something else cause he pretty much whales on me in less than 10 words.

He goes ''aren't you gonna smile and say thank you?'' and I'm mumbling ''no, I'm not gonna smile when I feel like crap'' and looking all confused cause who says stuff like that, seriously? And he walks away pointing me out to my collegue, Sharon going ''she doesn't have the right attitude.'' Just this oppressive, disgusting man. And it upset Sharon too but she got to go home earlier than I did so she was better off I guess.

So yeah, people are shitty and Mondays suck. I was joking around with a customer about how Monday should be a swear word like ''how dare you Monday me?!'' and ''oh, go Monday yourself!'' We were quite amused...

Tags: work sux

Current Mood:

touched

Current Music: joshua radin - the fear you won't fall

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11 November 2009 @ 04:07 am

every night and day just promise me

November has started out crappy and full of no.

My uncle died last week. I say uncle I really mean one of my dads.
Then I was talking to my brother yesterday (he came over and we watched movies and talked till like 3am) and he's telling me his uncle/dad died on Thursday...

I had to go into work on the Friday which wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be but served to remind me of how much I need to not be working in Tesco's. Not right now, not ever. Even if my mother is totally having 10% discount-gasms.

I did however stumble upon a couple of good bands. Jason Zerbin for one. He is a guy but the band is also called Jason Zerbin. They're sort of what would happen if you mixed Kings of Leon with Iron and Wine and added some The Fray.... ish.

I found them as I was watching 'Teenage Dirtbag' which is such a pillowcase of a movie. It can suffocate you but can also just be real comfy and for to sleep and rejuvinate. I have yet to rejuvinate.

I don't know if it's available anywhere but they're talking about it being in theatres on the website which is yay cause it's such an amazing movie.

The other music that I found was Burial. Not that I didn't know of him before just I hadn't looked into anything other than ''Archangel'' so I was pleasantly surprised by that awsomeness. Also there are about 4 bands also called Burial and they're so drastically different but still confusing.

Oh! Flyleaf have a new album! The first video off it is AMAZING!

Tags: musics

Current Mood:

sore

Current Music: beverly craven - promise me

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06 February 2009 @ 02:10 pm

Writer's Block: Robotic

Who (or what) is your favorite fictional robot?

View 500 Answers

megas... from megas xlr hehehe

Tags: robots, writer's block

Current Mood:

sleepy

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20 December 2008 @ 06:01 am

(no subject)

i always tell people how incredibly tactile i am. i thought it was something to do with not being held enough as baby or some other dumb thing like that but thinking about it. it's probably because i can't tell what's real and i don't believe my eyes. i'd rather feel something, touch something than just look at it. even in stores where it's al 'you break you buy', i have to lift things up and look under them and stuff.

i met some new people today, we were celebrating an early birthday. it was great, everyone in the room was artistic in some respect, we all thought on the same wave length, we kept interrupting each other, going 'yeah! like blah blah' and agreeing because we were so in each other's brainwaves. i'll probably never see them again, together or any other way but i dunno, we'll see.

watched twilight, it's amazing! i'm all about cheesey vampire movies. this is a cheesey vampire TEEN movie! which is great if a little eclectic. it's more sombre than i expected, they're kind of normal seeming. there was an interview with rob pattinson, he said he didn't so much adhere to ''edward cullin'' but made the character more ''rob''. i love when actors go into a book/movie without having read the books... i almost always hate the movies made form books but they ususally have the right idea, they leave out key elements a lot, small things that make books better than movies.
speaking of which, could we print books in plastic instead of paper? we have too much plastic and it needs recycling... why not make book pages out of it! i am such an idealist.

i like to say i'm not a dreamer anymore but all i do is dream, my entire existance is a dream. i haven't acheived anything that i set out to do. it kind of sucks that i'm no good with appointments and looking after myself... maybe i just hate doctors...i definately hate dentists. one idiot woman who should not be allowed near needles leat alone people with a needle in hand... grrr!

jared leto is arrogant... does he have a right to be? i mean he's incredibly beautiful and very talented... i wonder if he feels like he owns the world. most bands who shoot to fame real quick are humble about the fan-base... i dunno, spewing junk.

JUNKIE! i need to find it and read it... that or the subterraneans... or the one about kerouac's little brother, that looks good.
I.A.D

Tags: musings

Current Mood:

sleepy

Current Music: i write sins (acoustic) - p.a.t.d

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12 December 2008 @ 06:46 am

the truth will... give you the time of your life

it is always bad to date your best friend ex... right?
what if it's gone in circles. does it make sense to try and make someone happy, thinking you can make them happy or knowing you can, and going with that feeling no matter who they've been with? do people feel like you're taking their ''sloppy seconds''? is that how it even is? with my friend circuit, it was that it didn't really matter because the friend who was in the relationship with the girl first, it was something juvenile and adolescent, PG... if that at all. but the second one, we're all still reeling from the aftermath it was that huge.

people are always going on at you abut being friends with your ex's. it shouldn't be hard for everyone to be friends with their ex's unless there were like police involved and stuff, then, yeah, that's not ok. i guess i'm a little on a cloud here, my first relationship was with someone where we became friends first. i mean we were attracted to each other but, we played around it for a while. i guess some people build the trust during the relationship? i dunno...

maybe it's a trial and error thing, where you figure out who you can't live without and who you'd be better off forgetting. it's hard trying to figure stuff out in your own head. but i guess what feels right and what doesn't make you want to go get a gun is what you go with. i'm a firm believer in ''the gut instict'' it has been very reliable. i like to tell the truth too. sometimes i do it just to be a dick, but it's still the truth, as smooth and shiny as i can get it so it doesn't hurt feelings but the truth... which will set you free... or trap irreparably...
I.A.D

Tags: musings

Current Mood:

sleepy

Current Music: u want me 2 - sarah mclachlan

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10 December 2008 @ 03:20 am

soul mate crisis averted

it is in the nature of soul mates to be illusive. there's a journey needed to finding them. sometimes, you're with them but they snore or hate politics and are afraid of dogs. sometimes, it's a little unhealthy. i wonder how you're supposed to know when you find them. are there bells that go off in your head? or is it more subtle like a slow corrosion?

at one time i was sure i'd found my soul mate. not my romantic soul mate but someone who was exactly like me but in different skin. at that time, i was finding out that i had a lot of things in common with everyone around me. in all that confusion, there was just this person who was literally in my head.
all the fundamental stuff.
the decisions i'd made about my future had been the same ones they made, our not-so decided path towards musical enlightenment was the same. it was like we felt the same way about the world and we'd never met before so it was strange and a little scary feeling like we'd lived each other's lives already. we haven't spoken in about a year and before just recently, i always wanted to know why then i read my metasymbological (*grin*) list of ''chracterisitcs'' as it were and it said things like ''met with constant disappointment in others'' and ''frequently deceived or betrayed'' and i freaked out.

i chose to ignore it a little and not make it as relevant as it would have been had i wanted to embrace it and found myself reading some quotes by people. somehow i found a phrase that's like ''people will always be taken in a hurry'' or something; i took it to mean that sometimes people don't stay forever and decided to lay off.

i've been letting go of a bunch of people lately. some are moving on and on and up and up, others are just not there anymore... but whatever now. i don't like to believe in fate but i like thinking that there is at least a vague guideline as to where i'm headed and who'll get me there.
I.A.D

Tags: musings

Current Mood:

cold

Current Music: the fray - she is

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09 December 2008 @ 02:36 am

they call me 'The Midnight Philosopher'

i like to think. i probably think too much sometimes but my mind works at a mile a minute, it's a curse.

i like to think about abstract concepts like honour. the way we see it, how it was seen before and stuff like that. pondering for no apparent reason, cause even i dont know why.
what makes a person? i like to think i'm a person because i have conversations in my head with myself and several other opinions. being able to talk yourself into and out of things... maybe.

i often ask myself, what my sexuality means to me. i say ''i'm bi'' so often it's become what i am. i feel like the definition of bisexuality would be an improper simplification of my attractions. it sounds completely cheesey to say ''i like people for their personalities'' but i think i'm more on that level of thinking rather than ''i like both penises and vaginas'' which i do, just it's not the door i'm using.

i've met several people recently who i could say i'm extremely attracted to. physically, obviously, there are some pulling factors but once i started spending time with them, i kind of forgot that they had faces and abs and hands and feet... they were floating souls caught in a meat suit, which is a weird way to look at people maybe but i think it's a better way of looking at people. i feel free to point out flaws and bad things when i'm looking at someone more honestly, i feel i can say 'you are beautiful' and mean it as 'completely, in your whole entirety'...
I.A.D

Tags: musings

Current Mood:

okay

Current Music: the wings - gustavo santaolalla

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07 December 2008 @ 04:12 am

*dancing* just... a little crush... da-dadada-da lala...

stolenfied from http://gogoangelgunboy.livejournal.com/ who got it from http://goldfeesh.livejournal.com/

1. What's your song of the moment?
there's quite a few actually. Trouble by Mr, LaMontagne, Cat Power's Cross Bones Style and everything i have by Magic Dirt which is about 5 songs

2. What are you wearing at the moment?
pyjama trousers, two sleeveless tank top things, mutilated turtleneck and woolly jumper

3. If you could have a shopping spree anywhere, where would it be?
a spree would consist of Borders, Waterstones, Bead Time and the Artisan Gallery...

4. What is your favorite book?
i don't know yet. there are quite a few i'm in love with though, Jarhead is on a re-read right now, Rant and Lullaby by Palahniuk, Maurice, i'm trying out Catcher In The Rye...

5. What's the last place you went on vacation?
Isle of Wight, sucky if you're boozeless...

6. What do you drink the most?
orange juice and tea

7. Is there a useless thing that you cannot brace yourself to throw out?
...i make useful things out of the useless stuff sometimes... i seem to have too much jewellery for some reason so all that cause i don't go out enough to need jewellery in the proportions that i have it.

8. Who was your first big crush?
my first *crush* was probably Darryl or Maggy... or both...

9. What did you want to be when you grew up?
a bunch of things, it changed often, firefighter, nurse, my mom, my dad...

10. What is your favorite place in the world?
in a kiss or a hug

11. What would you change about the world if you could?
transportation. the time it takes to get places is ridiculous, i'd have everybody able to teleport in a flash, to anywhere, anytime.

12. What color do you like the least?
yellow... not as a colour but as clothes. when it's not in a rainbow, yellow is just too much.

13. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
a what?!

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
blind to his obvious geniusness *grin*

15. What are you afraid of?
many things: giant vehicles, driving, bicycles coming up behind me. but mostly, i'm scared i'll be a coward when i find love

16. What's your favorite item of clothing?
jeans, this woolly jumper, the other black and white woolly jumper with the 3ft long hood and the 12ft long black and red scarf i now own

17. What are you into right now?
Greek, The Dead Zone, Anthony Swofford, giving female characters male-specific names, getting into uni, detesting the ''English Christmas'', singing and playing guitar

18. What did you do today?
slept too much, watched Sahara with my mom and sister, watched some episodes of Greek, forgot to go outside and poi cause it's too cold

19. What do you want?
i want a job, to be in better contact with my friends, get my application off to Dartington, my own laptop, jelly babies, popcorn and to see Twilight

20. What should you be doing right now?
sleeping

21. What's the meaning behind your LJ username/name/nicknames you go by?
a nickname given to me cause i'm shorter than everyone i know so they pat me on the head a lot, i have no idea why my parents gave me the name i have; i'm changing it to Zozo Alfred Monohaine at some point, all other nicknames are just abbreviations and clever add-ons like Catz on the end of Thabby...

Tags: meme thingie

Current Mood:

drained

Current Music: crush - jennifer paige

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11 November 2008 @ 12:15 am

Santina

my friend (who i saw last when we were about 11), i found her on facebook!
i about had a heart attack, i hope she gets back to me soonish...

Current Mood:

calm

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09 November 2008 @ 11:39 pm

Difficult Conversation

i just drew Rogue. I love drawing Rogue... she features very prominantly in my drawing of women.
i rarely draw women unless there's one standing right in front of me...
...i just found grass in my hair...

Tags: babbling

Current Mood:

pensive

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